Comments on: The End of Chasing Happiness http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/ Make Money. Do What You Love. Feel Great. Mon, 06 Feb 2012 15:45:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Abhishek http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-2154 Abhishek Mon, 22 Jun 2009 16:42:55 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2154 Yes paul u r right. many times i've caught myself relapsing to the old track of mind but with some conscious effort i wriggle out of it. But, the fact that i now have an option is very refreshing. Though employed with a company I'm also on the path of personal growth. have read ur other posts n i liked ur thoughts. Yes paul u r right. many times i’ve caught myself relapsing to the old track of mind but with some conscious effort i wriggle out of it. But, the fact that i now have an option is very refreshing. Though employed with a company I’m also on the path of personal growth. have read ur other posts n i liked ur thoughts.

]]> By: Paul Piotrowski http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-2156 Paul Piotrowski Sun, 21 Jun 2009 17:27:45 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2156 @abhishek: Welcome to the club that no longer chases happiness. It's very liberating. Although you may find that the addiction to happiness runs very deep, so it may take some time to fully shake it off. Ironically, once you do, you'll probably be much more happier in life. :) @abhishek: Welcome to the club that no longer chases happiness. It’s very liberating. Although you may find that the addiction to happiness runs very deep, so it may take some time to fully shake it off.

Ironically, once you do, you’ll probably be much more happier in life. :)

]]> By: Abhishek http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-2155 Abhishek Sun, 21 Jun 2009 11:47:49 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2155 dude!! the same realization had dawned upon me a couple of days back. we have all been distracted by media, politicians, self-help gurus and other crazy pple. i was just looking up the internet to see if there was anyone else with feelings like mine n i bumped into ur page. makes absolute sense. animals do this n so they stay in gr8 shape its only we humans who have to go see a shrink, take tablets n u name it...to make sense of life. dude!! the same realization had dawned upon me a couple of days back. we have all been distracted by media, politicians, self-help gurus and other crazy pple. i was just looking up the internet to see if there was anyone else with feelings like mine n i bumped into ur page. makes absolute sense. animals do this n so they stay in gr8 shape its only we humans who have to go see a shrink, take tablets n u name it…to make sense of life.

]]> By: Paul Piotrowski http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-2153 Paul Piotrowski Thu, 07 May 2009 17:21:18 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2153 @Amanda: Absolutely! Most people aren't even in a relationship with their "mate". They're in a relationship with the FANTASY of their perfect mate. It's the root cause of most problems in relationships - not accepting the person for who they are, because they don't live up to the Fantasy version you imagined in your head and infatuated with in your head in when you first met them. They didn't change. They've been the same person all along. They're just not the person we fantasized them to be, that's all. Happens all the time. @Amanda: Absolutely! Most people aren’t even in a relationship with their “mate”. They’re in a relationship with the FANTASY of their perfect mate. It’s the root cause of most problems in relationships – not accepting the person for who they are, because they don’t live up to the Fantasy version you imagined in your head and infatuated with in your head in when you first met them.

They didn’t change. They’ve been the same person all along. They’re just not the person we fantasized them to be, that’s all. Happens all the time.

]]> By: Paul Piotrowski http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-2152 Paul Piotrowski Thu, 07 May 2009 17:17:30 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2152 @Ian: You are right. However, if we aren't clear on the difference you're describing (which 99% aren't) we end up getting caught in the fantasy of chasing that happiness. Hollywood movies end with "Lived happily ever after." for the most part and we chase that. There is no "Happily Ever After". Then, when someone is not feeling as "happy" as they normally do for a few weeks because their dog died or they lost their job, they run to the doctor and get on "Anti-Depressants" because they think that we're ALWAYS supposed to be happy. I'll be exploring a lot more of this topic on my Blog. :) @Ian: You are right. However, if we aren’t clear on the difference you’re describing (which 99% aren’t) we end up getting caught in the fantasy of chasing that happiness. Hollywood movies end with “Lived happily ever after.” for the most part and we chase that.

There is no “Happily Ever After”. Then, when someone is not feeling as “happy” as they normally do for a few weeks because their dog died or they lost their job, they run to the doctor and get on “Anti-Depressants” because they think that we’re ALWAYS supposed to be happy.

I’ll be exploring a lot more of this topic on my Blog. :)

]]> By: Amanda http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-2151 Amanda Thu, 07 May 2009 12:17:31 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2151 "The problem with chasing fantasies is that even if you get your fantasy, there’s always a better one around the corner." ^ Ouch. Do you think this applies in relationships, too? :) (I liked this post; it's good to know that I'm not the only one who thinks about being "happier" all the time. The chase really is neverending...) “The problem with chasing fantasies is that even if you get your fantasy, there’s always a better one around the corner.”

^ Ouch.
Do you think this applies in relationships, too? :)

(I liked this post; it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who thinks about being “happier” all the time. The chase really is neverending…)

]]> By: Ian http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-2150 Ian Tue, 05 May 2009 21:24:53 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2150 Most of us are pretty loose when it comes to defining happiness, but I think for most people the concept of happiness actually encompasses what are generally labeled negative as well as positive feelings. Happiness doesn't necessarily mean feeling blissful 24 hours a day. It typically means an overall sense of satisfaction with life. For most of us, being happy allows for sometimes feeling sad or lonely or frustrated or angry. To say having something would make you happy usually just means it would give you pleasure to have it; but it doesn't mean you expect to experience ONLY pleasure from having it. I think this is more an issue of semantics than substance. The real issue is, does having things make you satisfied with life, and I'd say generally it doesn't. For a few moments maybe, but not for long. Most of us are pretty loose when it comes to defining happiness, but I think for most people the concept of happiness actually encompasses what are generally labeled negative as well as positive feelings. Happiness doesn’t necessarily mean feeling blissful 24 hours a day. It typically means an overall sense of satisfaction with life. For most of us, being happy allows for sometimes feeling sad or lonely or frustrated or angry. To say having something would make you happy usually just means it would give you pleasure to have it; but it doesn’t mean you expect to experience ONLY pleasure from having it. I think this is more an issue of semantics than substance. The real issue is, does having things make you satisfied with life, and I’d say generally it doesn’t. For a few moments maybe, but not for long.

]]> By: Paul Piotrowski http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-2/#comment-2149 Paul Piotrowski Tue, 05 May 2009 20:19:06 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2149 @Lisa: I would argue that "Unconditional Love" and "Happiness" are two COMPLETELY different things. For example, when you "Unconditionally Love" a movie, it means you love the parts of it that make you laugh and the parts that make you cry, not just the parts that make you "Happy". When you "Unconditionally Love" your kids, it means you love them just as much when they do exactly as they are told and behave according to your standards, as when they "act up" and do silly things that make you worry or even cry. If you're addicted to "Happiness", whenever your child does something that doesn't make you happy, you end up believing that something went wrong, but that's not the case. Raising a child is just as much about happiness as it is about sadness, anxiety, worry etc. Children are here to help us grow, not to make us happy 100% of the time. When you feel angry, frustrated or fearful, why not ask yourself what these emotions are trying to tell you or teach you instead of trying to instantly "convert" them into "happiness"? Don't get me wrong, I've got every Esther-Hicks book on Law of Attraction on my bookshelf and I've read them all. I understand what she's trying to teach. I just don't believe in it anymore. I've manifested a crapload of stuff in my life and it didn't require me to be "happy" all the time. In fact, sometimes I've manifested the biggest things in my life out of sheer energy of frustration. I didn't need to be "happy" all the time to manifest what I wanted, and even the things that I manifested didn't make me "happy" all the time. I just don't think it's a requirement. Unconditional Love and Gratitude, in my opinion are totally different though. You can be angry and grateful for that anger at the same time because it makes you stronger and more focused. You can be feeling sad, while watching a sad movie and be grateful for the experience. All I'm saying is that chasing Happiness is pointless. It really does nothing more than just frustrates us and makes us feel like something went wrong when we're not "Happy" 24 hours a day. Well, that and it helps to sell anti-depressants to all the people who think they're supposed to be happy all the time. @Lisa: I would argue that “Unconditional Love” and “Happiness” are two COMPLETELY different things.

For example, when you “Unconditionally Love” a movie, it means you love the parts of it that make you laugh and the parts that make you cry, not just the parts that make you “Happy”. When you “Unconditionally Love” your kids, it means you love them just as much when they do exactly as they are told and behave according to your standards, as when they “act up” and do silly things that make you worry or even cry. If you’re addicted to “Happiness”, whenever your child does something that doesn’t make you happy, you end up believing that something went wrong, but that’s not the case. Raising a child is just as much about happiness as it is about sadness, anxiety, worry etc. Children are here to help us grow, not to make us happy 100% of the time.

When you feel angry, frustrated or fearful, why not ask yourself what these emotions are trying to tell you or teach you instead of trying to instantly “convert” them into “happiness”?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got every Esther-Hicks book on Law of Attraction on my bookshelf and I’ve read them all. I understand what she’s trying to teach. I just don’t believe in it anymore. I’ve manifested a crapload of stuff in my life and it didn’t require me to be “happy” all the time. In fact, sometimes I’ve manifested the biggest things in my life out of sheer energy of frustration. I didn’t need to be “happy” all the time to manifest what I wanted, and even the things that I manifested didn’t make me “happy” all the time. I just don’t think it’s a requirement.

Unconditional Love and Gratitude, in my opinion are totally different though. You can be angry and grateful for that anger at the same time because it makes you stronger and more focused. You can be feeling sad, while watching a sad movie and be grateful for the experience.

All I’m saying is that chasing Happiness is pointless. It really does nothing more than just frustrates us and makes us feel like something went wrong when we’re not “Happy” 24 hours a day. Well, that and it helps to sell anti-depressants to all the people who think they’re supposed to be happy all the time.

]]> By: Paul Piotrowski http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-2148 Paul Piotrowski Tue, 05 May 2009 16:52:28 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2148 @Daphne: The only thing about the metaphor of not pursuing happiness in order for it to find you, is that you're still trying to chase happiness - by not pursuing it. I have always found things like that paradoxical and confusing in the real world. It's not about finding some "trick" to happiness by not chasing it. It's about really stopping the chase after happiness because we realize the completely obvious fact that we will never ALWAYS be happy, no matter what we do. I would also argue that whether you chase happiness or not, you have it in your life to the exact same degree anyways. It's all just about your perceptions. One person will find out their wife is pregnant, and they will be incredibly happy, while another person will be devastated. It all just depends on the circumstances and values of the person who is experiencing the event. The pregnancy is neither good news nor bad news...it's both, just depending on the person hearing about it. @Daphne: The only thing about the metaphor of not pursuing happiness in order for it to find you, is that you’re still trying to chase happiness – by not pursuing it. I have always found things like that paradoxical and confusing in the real world.

It’s not about finding some “trick” to happiness by not chasing it. It’s about really stopping the chase after happiness because we realize the completely obvious fact that we will never ALWAYS be happy, no matter what we do. I would also argue that whether you chase happiness or not, you have it in your life to the exact same degree anyways. It’s all just about your perceptions.

One person will find out their wife is pregnant, and they will be incredibly happy, while another person will be devastated. It all just depends on the circumstances and values of the person who is experiencing the event. The pregnancy is neither good news nor bad news…it’s both, just depending on the person hearing about it.

]]> By: dreka http://www.paulymath.com/2009/05/03/the-end-of-chasing-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-2147 dreka Tue, 05 May 2009 15:05:45 +0000 http://www.inspiredmoneymaker.com/?p=1341#comment-2147 Great Post. Thanks! Great Post. Thanks!

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