Deconstructing My Identity
The last three weeks of my life have been monumentally enlightening and transformative. Fifteen years of intense study of personal development books, seminars, training courses and anything else under the sun has all of a sudden manifested into a quantum leap of new awareness for me.
I’m still very much in the middle of it, and I really don’t know how much more broader my perspective is going to get, but I can definitely say that the last few weeks have been a perfect journey of serenity and chaos.
I’ve been having “Aha” moments multiple times per day and each one creates a shift and transformation that affects everything else that preceded it.
The most exciting thing is that my level of awareness and understanding of myself and my perceptions of the world around me have taken a quantum leap. The most painful part of this process, however, is that with a new awareness comes the process of deconstructing and reconstructing my identity.
Imagine if you won the lottery, or were involved in a car crash that left you paralyzed from the neck down. Those kinds of monumental changes in your life would have a profound effect on your identity. This is kind of like that, except I haven’t won the lottery and I haven’t been in a car crash.
Almost two months ago I met a brilliant young entrepreneur named Dr. Nima Rahmany. Dr. Nima is very much a personal development junkie like myself, except that he happened to focus his studies on pretty much the exact opposite of everything I was learning. We’re kind of like Yin and Yang – focusing on the polar opposites of the same truth. We both have had our share of success in our lives, but ever since we started to get to know each other we’ve both been experiencing a quantum leap in our development.
I’ve been attending an intensive seminar series Dr. Nima has been putting on here locally in Maple Ridge, BC and it’s been having a major transformative effect on my life. At the same time I’ve also been helping him from a totally different perspective, which I know has had pretty much the same effect on his life as well.
This is all very exciting for me, and I’d love to share everything with you guys but at the moment I’m still trying to figure everything out. I’m actually going through one identity transformation after another, and with each one I’m getting more and more excited. The challenge is that until I put together all the pieces of how everything all fits in together it’s difficult to articulate any of this into any kind of coherent content for the Blog.
The only place I’m really sharing what I’m going through and learning right now is with my coaching students, as my coaching training is always up to the minute “best of me” mentoring and it’s a lot easier to explain this kind of stuff in person or over the phone than it is in text on a Blog.
Anyway, I just thought I’d update you guys, as I haven’t written a post in quite a while now so I didn’t want you guys to think I’ve fallen off the face of the Earth or anything – at least not physically. 
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Paul Piotrowski is a highly ambitious and passionate self-improvement fanatic who has spent over 13 years relentlessly pursuing and studying personal development wisdom in almost every area of life. His highly intuitive drive to seek wisdom and truth in life has led him through very diverse areas of experience ranging from entrepreneurship and business, natural [...]
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Thanks for the honesty Paul. You and I both know that in order to have a transformation, you need to have an identity crisis.
If we all look back on our lives and see how these moments of identity crisis, whether sudden or gradual, have been key moments that have been the catalyst for a massive change.
Look back one year from now and you’ll see some amazing realizations. I’m sure I’m going to do the same.
I’m grateful to be joining in the journey with you and I embrace the change as we continue our “bro-mance” together.
@Dr. Nima: Yup. I’ve had to re-think pretty much every belief I have about everything. I’ve had strange food cravings, headaches, mood swings and all kinds of other weird “release” symptoms, but it’s all good. I’m loving the transformation.
I’ve gone through a few of these in my life and the growth and changes that happen after the transformation is complete are amazing.
One year from now I’m not even going to recognize my life. The stuff I’ve learned since meeting you has been mind-blowing to say it politely. I can’t wait to see where we take all this in the next 12 months.
Clearly, the timing of your email update on recent posts is, as with the timing of everything else, perfect! One of the thoughts/realizations I went to bed with last night was that I believed I had no ‘family’. Living away from my family of origin for so many years (having settled abroad) and having children who currently seem to value other things more than spending time with their mum just made me feel as if I have been stripped off all family! But it also prompted me to remember, and not for the first time either, that I am a member of a much larger family, all of life really, and that without my/our learned biases, I would regard each one as closely and dearly as I regard my mum, brothers, sisters and children!
In a sense it was yet another facet of the ‘identity crisis/meltdown’ that I have been going through these last two years, having been homeless for 12 months, having lost my primary source of income, having moved out of old social circles and only recently establishing new ones and, of course, the ongoing examination and abandonment/replacement of old beliefs…it’s all been a gradual, sometimes painful, stripping away of ‘how I have been’, which really is, ‘how I have learned to be’.
But my true identity…I don’t think that has ever changed. Rather, I have become more aware…of what lies behind, under, beyond the facade we call ‘I’, or ‘my personality’. It’s liberating even though the pain of separation from all that has been familiar and comfortable (even when these have really been self-defeating/limiting) has sometimes been close to unbearable!
It’s necessary if we are to evolve spiritually. It is about coming to terms with who we truly are. I wish you the enlightenment (it really does ‘lighten’ us…perhaps close to the weightlessness of pure being/light!) and liberation that this ‘deconstruction’ offers
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